tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35305725835370597022024-03-13T20:37:41.085-07:00Jill Kamp MeltonJill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-78133715878411974862012-08-08T10:29:00.001-07:002012-08-08T10:29:57.607-07:00I'm on deadline. I am now published two books: The Power of the Zip and The Power of the Zip in a Heavenly Light. I have to finish reviewing the edits that my publisher, Create Space, has suggested. Then we go into final production mode.<br />
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The first version is secular, good for businesses, schools, non-profits, politicians and any other group or individual who wants to be a more effective communicator.<br />
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The second version is for people who have put God first in their lives and want to follow the manual for effective speaking that He wrote. Churches, non-profits, Young Life, any ministry would benefit.<br />
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I have reviews so far from Cal Thomas, Mark Betterson, Heather Puffet and I am waiting for one from Jamie Martin this weekend. Several others may be coming in.<br />
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So I'm on deadline, excited and focused. I have little spare time. And I'm glad.Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-82783238170594217052012-01-13T09:10:00.000-08:002012-01-13T09:10:50.988-08:00Reserve a Copy of Zip It! My new website: www.orderzipitnow.com is open for viewing, reading and registering. Wow!<br />
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Please give me some feedback as we are still tweaking each page for clarity and ease of navigation.<br />
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After you click on the "reserve" tab, there is a space to put in your name, email address and to leave me a message. You need to put something in that space for the "send" button to activate. Just say "hi."<br />
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I 'd like to get 10,00 names and email addresses by late fall, when I expect the book to be ready for purchase. Can you help me by forwarding the link to your friends, co-workers, bosses and anyone else that might need help with <b>The Zip! </b><br />
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<br />Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-43641056609200895282012-01-08T04:59:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:30:23.212-08:00How to Find The Groove<span style="font-size: large;">Rereading my Bible this morning, Mark 1:9-13 I am struck by the dramatically tortured beginning Jesus endured. He was baptized by John, a spiritual high. Then he was "driven out into the wilderness" by the Spirit to be tortured and tested and tempted by the Adversary (Satan). This was like being trapped in a manic depressive cycle for 40 days, the wilderness being the torture of depression only worse. We don't know what the Adversary tempted him with, but if I think of my worst temptations, I am sure he was beset by images, appetites, greed, and narcissism for 40 days.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He emerged victorious, confirmed as to what he had to do for the rest of his life, and began without a pause. He ran into some fishermen and said, "Come follow me."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I admire that single-mindedness. I want to be like Jesus.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I feel like I have come out of a more than 40 year wilderness of being a slave to my appetites, greed and narcissism. I have snapped out of the groove I chose to willingly go into His groove for me. I have stopped shopping. I am giving all the money I make to my husband for wise stewardship. I rarely spend the money he keeps putting in my wallet. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My purpose in life is not to spend money. My purpose is to do what the Lord calls me to do: love Him, love and respect my husband, go to work to serve others, spend time with my grandchildren, and write as part of His succession planning "plan" for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Period. That's it. </span><br />
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<br />Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-23017409467809531542012-01-06T04:31:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:30:49.321-08:00A Roller Coaster of Progress <span style="font-size: large;"> I am proud to announce that "Zip It! and 41 Other Powers of Communication" will be published this year by Amazon. I will be taking pre-orders on:www.orderzipitnow.com That site is being built now and should be up in about a week. I will also have a phone app! How cool is that?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> The roller coaster feeling that I am experiencing is like one I've experienced before when I was setting up the theatre company, American Showcast Theatre in Alexandria, VA in 1983. So many details had to coincide to make that effort happen and that's the case now.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Just yesterday I realized I needed the website to pre-order because today I am being interviewed for an online article for Woman's Day magazine. They are willing to tell people about my website and that will help me build a customer base for the book.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Then I needed someone to build the website. Found, in less than 2 hours.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> A dear friend and skilled editor is working on the manuscript to fix punctuation errors, alert me to missing transitions and generally check for inconsistencies and other problems. We will re-edit once more and then I'm ready to send it to Amazon for the cover and back design and inside formatting.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I'm also looking for the famous authors I know to write endorsements for the back cover:)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I have lists of things to do and each time I accomplish one more thing, it's as though I have climbed a mountain, only to see a bigger mountain in front of me. My husband is encouraging me and I need it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Another friend and former mentee has a blog: www.steadymom.com and today she has a wonderful entry on not losing focus regardless of what happens. I encourage you to check it out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-3629417521062916312011-11-08T10:38:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:31:03.826-08:00Update<span style="font-size: large;">I haven't posted on this blog for awhile but I have been busy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here are the highlights:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The book <strong>Zip It! </strong>is 98% finished.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">An editor is working on cleaning up what I've written and removing redundancies. She told me that she is learning so much that she is slowed down, thinking about how to apply what I have written.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I'm looking for a publisher and/or literary agent.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I have seeds for a few follow up books.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I have envisioned book tours, workshops, retreats, an ebook, an audio book, hardcover and softcover versions.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Several published authors have read what I have sent them and have been extremely encouraging.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now is the time!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you have any suggestions, please let me know.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-28039472053623240242011-06-25T05:05:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:31:16.255-08:00Why Should Anyone Change the Way They Speak and the Way They Listen?<span style="font-size: large;">Duh! This morning I had a profound revelation and jumped out of bed to share the "surge" with 4 blogs and hopefully you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It's not about us. It's about the rest of the world.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What would change if I spoke and listened better? Would conflicts be resolved? Would people be more tolerant? Would people be able to love more and hate less?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am sure that if I change the way I communicate, the ripple affect would be so much greater than I could ever intend. So here is the new re-tooled slogan:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">"Transform speaking and listening one conversation at a time and ehlp others do it too."</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">It's not about me or you</span>; <span style="color: black;">it's about the effect of what we do and how it helps others.</span></span></span></div>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-58190935301085874252011-06-11T06:26:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:31:31.798-08:00Reckless Language<span style="font-size: large;">"We will always recognize an artist's freedom to express him or herself, but not when reckless things are said no matter what the context."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is a quote from Tina Fey about a comic's use of bad language, hate language, on a recent show. The comic also used "violent imagery" which was disturbing to the TV station not to mention the viewers.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No one gets a free pass on the use of reckless language and violent imagery that could incite others to violent thoughts and actions. There should be a zero tolerance for this and I am glad it is being addressed. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's the puzzlement. If you know that a liberal said these things, the above quoted things, and you are a conservative, does that make them less true? No.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Language rules, civility rules, the way to behave knows no boundaries. In fact, agreement on these things could bring people together who think they have nothing in common.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We need to examine our own use of language. If the reckless and violent creeps in, how can we develop sensors to detect the "creep" and stop it before it takes hold?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">First, when you have strong feelings about anything, pause before speaking. Pause a long time, maybe even a day.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Second, when you have strong feelings about something, examine your feelings. If you are angry, remember that anger is a secondary emotion. You feel angry because you may feel anxious, scared, vulnerable or threatened in some way. Work to identify those primary feeling first before speaking. Get help identifying those feelings, if necessary. A good place to start is: www.marianneclyde.com</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Marianne has lots of help for identifying strong feelings. Click around the website, look into the archives, breathing all the while, and see if you don't feel the primary urges to be reckless and violent fade and more rational possibilities occur to you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Third, when you think you are ready to speak, and if you MUST speak, speak carefully, slowly and sensitively, pausing, weighing your words and the thoughts beneath your words carefully.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"The power of life and death is in the tongue." Speak to heal and to help and to love.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-34748609816725664042011-06-10T09:46:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:31:42.891-08:00Curiosity is the Key<span style="font-size: large;">If I were to conduct market research as to what one factor makes a good communicator, I would not get this answer. Most people say, "Good listening skills, the ability to speak clearly and being en expert on your subject.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For me if a communicator is not curious about what someone else is saying, the full measure of the words, meanings, feelings, and implications, the attempt to really be heard will fail.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Why aren't we more curious in this process? Is it because we are stressed, have no time, or just don't like someone else?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I think it is because no one does it to us. No one seems to care about what we say and we "are not the sparkle in someone else's eye."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That's where it helps to be spiritual and know deeper than deep that God cares and that you are the sparkle in His eye. Guaranteed!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you have ever experienced feeling and knowing that, then it might be easier to be curious about someone else.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When we stop being curious, we are dead. We may be the walking dead, but we are dead.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I want to be alive, fully alive. Curiosity is the key.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-42810645113654027002011-06-06T05:56:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:31:58.931-08:00Progress<span style="font-size: large;">Well, the lead I had on a publisher in the UK is not a lead anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So here I go, on a search for a publisher, a literary agent, or both. I will overturn rocks and be persistent, even like a drip of water on a stone step. And while I'm searching, I'm sure the Lord will give me an opportunity that I have not imagined. Can't wait!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In the meantime, I have two books. <b>Zip IT!<i></i></b> morphed into<b> Zip It!: A Guide to Effective Communication<i></i></b> and <b>Zip It! God's Way.<i></i></b> The first is for managers and employees and the second is for parents and anyone who is a friend to anyone else:)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I've covered the planet and I can't wait to get the word into others.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Please network this for me if you can. Forward your ideas and pray for opportunities.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The book will lead to workshops, motivational speeches, and lots of life coaching.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-61906340899649529612011-05-12T09:23:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:32:17.975-08:00Biblical and Secular: "Zip It!" is Growing!<span style="font-size: large;">I have received feedback that there may be a quicker market for a Biblical version of <b>Zip It!</b> than the secular version. the operative word here is " may".</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Not one to miss an opportunity, I have been working for 4 weeks on a rewrite of what I have already written to see if that " may" can turn into a definite "is."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How much fun! I sit like a real Geek with 4 versions of the Bible at my feet, several notebooks in which I have been recording thoughts for years, researching, compiling, sorting, selecting and retyping. I love it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am finally being able to use so much of what I have thought about and written about, for years and years.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you care and if you dare, please pray for my process and for an open door. Thanks. Humbly I thank you.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-81376805632344361422011-05-05T06:55:00.001-07:002012-01-09T05:32:34.014-08:00Saying "You're Welcome"<span style="font-size: large;">Feedback from a reader:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I've been enjoying your blog. I'm working hard on remembering to say, "You're welcome."</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-66043762587085293802011-04-28T08:54:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:32:49.471-08:00Comment on Whining<span style="font-size: large;">From a reader, "Thanks for yout blog on whining...it was very timely. The whole family has been ill for nearly a week and there has been lots of whining. Me included! But your blog adjusted my perspective! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you have not left me a comment, please do. These kinds of comments encourage us all.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-53376390608636658062011-04-28T06:15:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:33:19.972-08:00Whining<span style="font-size: large;">Do you have friends, co-workers or employees who whine a lot?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here are six perspectives to deal with the whining:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Whining can be positive. It dilutes the potential violence that could happen when people don't vent and then resort to passive aggressive silence. Whining, venting, and complaining are far better than exploding and violence. It's even better than weeping in the corner.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. Whining can also be a barometer of morale in the workplace or at home. It gives you information about what people are feeling. If they are not getting enough positive attention, people may whine because they mistakenly feel that negative attention is better than no attention.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. Some family and work cultures have a "habit of whining" built into them. The whiners don't think there is anything abnormal about their yak yak. They are just trying to fit in.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. If any of this rings true for you, how about instigating a new habit, like "Mean Mondays". On Mondays anyone in your family, circle of friends or work unit can complain without penalty. Then it may be easier to institute "Positive Tuesdays." On Tuesdays the same people can only say what is good, uplifting, positive and encouraging. Customize the rest of the week as you need to.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5. Eventually, you can transition to asking this question on Mondays, "Is there something you want to talk about to change the way we: work, interact, relate to one another? What are those things? Let's talk about them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">6. Sometimes whiners will not give up their sport. They are too selfish, or jealous, or angry, or just symptoms of a serious flaw in the system of how you do business or relate. If that is true, you may need a third, neutral party, a facilitator who can help get to a deeper level and direct you to the solution.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Let me know how this works.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-12545668605167621232011-04-27T06:31:00.001-07:002012-01-09T05:33:02.526-08:00When "His" Words are the Best<span style="font-size: large;">Yesterday I had a chance to work on a commercial that was being shot in St. Augustine. I also had a chance to pray with several other actors on the set.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is not because I am a great communicator. He is.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There are times when His words are the only words that come out of your mouth. That is such a thrill, to be used in that way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I humbly say thank you to the Lord of my life who fills my mouth with His words for His purposes in His timing and in His way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I humbly thanks Him for the response he receives from others when He works in this way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As a mentor once told me, "Me, I am nothing. It is the Lord in me that is everything." Praise to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm sure in the heavenly language that we will learn one day, that there will be a word that is big enough for that concept, the bigness of God as God, man and spirit omnipresent and omniscient and onmi omni! Without that word I am powerless to convey the whole thing. Fortunately He doesn't need me to. He is!</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-85470584500137251452011-04-12T14:05:00.001-07:002012-01-09T05:33:37.528-08:00"They" Ask for Feedback and Ignore it<span style="font-size: large;">Are you a manager who asks for feedback and then do nothing with it? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Are you a manager who asks for feedback, who tries to use it to change your organization, fails and who does not explain why your changes have not been implemented?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Do you give the perception of unresponsiveness when you are trying to use feedback to make changes?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Do you see yourself in these scenarios?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Zip It! will give you understanding as to why you are stuck. Zip It will help you get unstuck. Go to: </span><a href="http://www.orderzipitnow.com/"><span style="font-size: large;">www.orderzipitnow.com</span></a>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-75328266166637010412011-04-03T14:26:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:33:51.701-08:00What Happened to "You're Welcome?"<span style="font-size: large;">Have you noticed that when you say, "Thank you," to someone, they often say, "No problem" instead of "You're welcome?" When did that conversational change occur?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have a problem with that for a few reasons. First, When you say "thank you", you are giving someone a gift. When they don't acknowledge the gift, you feel someone kicked in the teeth. When someone says, "No problem", are they refusing the gift? Or is there some other explanation?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Second, what are they really saying? Are they saying that helping you was not a problem for them and that they were glad to have helped? That is a nice sentiment and I would like to hear that gladness. Or are they saying, "It was no big deal. You are not special and I would have done this for anyone?" If that's the case, they are being rude and when we don't acknowledge rudeness in someone, we are not holding them accountable. They will be rude again, and they think we are okay with it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Or third, are they saying, " I did nothing special and I don't want to be recognized for having done anything special and you make me feel awkward by recognizing what I did?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What makes someone closed to the "thank you" process? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't know the answer to these questions and I hope one of my blog readers does. Please give me feedback on this.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you, in advance.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-79092465088154243642011-03-28T16:36:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:34:06.298-08:00Wisdom from Kenya<span style="font-size: large;">My friend, Dr. Nyaki Adeya-Weya, just posted this on her Facebook page,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Our politicians should listen to the wise man who said 'why don't you put your brains to work and give your tongue a rest. Do not say anything before you are sure your word is worth more than your silence'".</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The problem is universal the world over. People talk before they think; people act before they think.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">MY Bible says, "Haste is never of God." I cling to that when I am tempted to speed up. I am almost always tempted to speed up. That is my perennial challenge: to wait for the best time, the best place, and the best way. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Of course, we could argue all day and night as to what the "BEST" is. For me, the best is that way that gives me peace and a deep sense that this is what I need to do. When my intuition and my sense of God wants is working, then I achieve it. When I'm out of sorts with myself and God, it is hard to achieve.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What do you think?</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-54498932647664125442011-03-28T16:29:00.001-07:002012-01-09T05:34:18.844-08:00<span style="font-size: large;">The Power of Wait:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. It protects people who are trying to communicate from their own impetuosity, so wisdom can assert itself in its own time. “Haste is not of God.” (footnote proverb)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. It gives time for other events and people and opportunities to rearrange themselves</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. It is calm.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. It is powerful.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5. It helps remove the garbage, the clutter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">6. It winnows the unnecessary from the essential.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">7. It helps you figure out what you want.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">8. It helps you figure out what you feel.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">9. It helps you figure out what other people want.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">10. It helps you figure out what other people feel.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">11. It is healthy – lowers blood pressure, and reduces stress.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Why do people have trouble waiting?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Some people can't zip it. They literally don't have the ability to. They might have ADD, be a compulsive talker, or believe the bumper sticker that says, “He who says the most words, wins.”. This person may know a lot and feel it criminal to withhold information. He/she might have a passion to share passionately. This person might have the strength of “Woo” ( footnote Strength Finders) and be gifted in talking, marketing, and sales. Talkers could talk all day and just stop for dinner and continue talking all night. A talker might be an extrovert, or woefully need attention, work as an auctioneer or find it's just plain too hard to shut up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The power of other people exerts real pressure on us. If we think other people are waiting for us to say something, whether or not that is true, we will talk to fill the silence. Peer pressure is real. Imagined peer pressure is also real. Remove the “shoulds” from your life, about the way you think other people want you to interact and react in conversation and you may find a “real you” that you have never explored or rarely used. It certainly will prevent others from taking you for granted. They will have to stop and listen to you in new ways because they can't predict your words anymore. In management, that is extremely useful. It also forces others to think for themselves before they come to you to solve their problems.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Do you have the habit of worry? Some people do and that is a powerful force that keeps them talking and talking in an attempt to alleviate their anxieties. People who have the habit of worry are likely to hate this habit and so they do things to try to tamp it down. They may smoke, drink or indulge in other addictions in an attempt to self-medicate. It doesn't work. The root of why they worry will haunt them until they get to the bottom of it. This requires work, just like digging out the roots of an old tree. But unless you do get to the bottom of it, it will get in the way of mature thinking, behaving and speaking. Isn't that the goal of a manager who wants to excel, to be mature in thought, actions and speech? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Some people won't zip it; they lack the motivation to try. Egocentric, always right and incapable of delegating, they may be mean spirited, possessed, feel victimized, need to be good at something and talking is IT. Or it's just too hard to stop.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What is the benchmark as to how many words are enough? “Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor repeat often the same manner of discourse.” That's what George Washington said. (footnote) As Patricia Mathes, FAA manager, has said more than once, “If you give feedback well, you should only have to do it once.”</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The 1970's musical, “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!” highlights the central problem. The treadmill of the lives most of us lead is running fast. We may want to get off, but we don't know how. Until we learn how to drop out of the rat race and reduce stress in our lives, we find that waiting is hard to do. When we fill the “wait” with activities that we think will get us where we want to go, we may miss the blessing of just waiting to see what will unfold.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you close your eyes and imagine that you are in a boat going down a river, you can almost feel the current of the water taking it in one direction. Imagine that feeling. You don't have to do much except sit tight and wait. Now imagine that you get tired of waiting and you take up a paddle that was laying at your feet and start to paddle down the river. You are striving and your trip is now different. The first way you allow events to unfold. The second way, you make something happen.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In communications there is a time and place for both actions, the waiting and the striving to make something happen. Which do you do most often? If you use the paddle more than the “wait”, you will miss a lot.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-69722649259749954712011-03-25T03:06:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:34:35.620-08:00Facts vs. Assumptions<span style="font-size: large;">My 6 year old grandson is learning about the peril of faulty assumptions in first grade. The question was, "What do you <b>know</b> from this statement: The red jacket was splashed."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">At first he answered that the jacket was wet. That's an assumption, so that is not what he "knows". It could have been splashed with paint, air, papper spray, insect repellent, skunk stink, etc. Who knows? From the statement at face value, no one.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What you <b>know</b> is that the jacket is red. That's it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">A powerful lesson in communication for a 6 year old. And I teach it to men and women who are managers and are 25-70+ years old.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What assumptions do you make every day in your work and your life that are wrong? How would you know? What are the consequences of making incorrect assumptions?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you have any anecdotes or feedback, bring them on.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-62163825586859360902011-03-22T04:46:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:34:50.524-08:00Morning Coversations in Florida<span style="font-size: large;">It's 7:30 in the morning and the porch door is open to let the warm breezes in and the noises of the birds in with them. I hear beautiful staccato chirps repeatedly. My husband is watching this morning show: birds and squirrels around the bird feeder.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am at my computer, reading the book of Mark in the Bible and pondering the miracles Jesus performed. He was bold and true and healed people that no one could heal before his ministry. And people hated him.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Morning devotions in stereo and surround sound at my house, inside and out. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Then it occurs to me that the loud chirps might not be the birds, but my husband's whistles as he talks to the birds in appreciation for the show they display in the morning for him. (The rare painted buntings are the best. The cardinals second best because they are a bit of Virginia for us here in Florida.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He is proud of his part in the conversation on the porch and tells me he is talking to the birds.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am filled with feelings I can't describe, sharing this morning with my husband, the birds, the breeze and with God.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-17248156032077515532011-03-17T03:37:00.000-07:002012-01-09T05:35:08.553-08:00Words, Words, Words<span style="font-size: large;">If you like Shakespeare's play Hamlet as much as I do, you will recognize this quote, <b>"Words, words, words, signifying nothing!"</b> Hamlet is disgusted that no one will be real with him and admit that his uncle killed his father and married his mother, greedy for power.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How do you stack up in the "words" department? Do you talk on and on and say nothing, obscuring the real meaning in order to stall for time or avoid dealing with serious issues?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The search for words that matter has been my search of a lifetime. Words heal and words hurt. Words can be "white noise" or the most important utterances in the universe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How do your words stack up? Give me some feedback and you may make it into my book, with attribution, of course.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-55866914010997917952011-03-10T16:58:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:35:33.912-08:00Research Phase<span style="font-size: large;">No, I have not died. I haven't blogged in a few days because my husband and I are in Shelby, NC getting training on healthy lifestyle eating from Hallelujah Acres. With no time for writing, I still have time early in the morning for some Bible study. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What I found is a mother lode of information, in, of all books, Job!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Job 11: 1 and 2 talks about people who use a "multitude of words and babble". I guess there is nothing new under the sun because we still have such people who yammer and yammer and they are not even auctioneers for a living. No one liked them in Job's day, and his book may be the oldest written book in the Bible. And no one likes people who yammer today, either.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Another verse, that follows the last one, got my attention because it reminds me of something my father used to say. If I were to ask him for permission to go somewhere he didn't want me to go, he would laughingly say, "When hair grows on my palm, you can go."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We used to say we were going to keep track of all the times he said that and then paste some hair on his palm when he was napping. We never did, but it would have been fun.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The verse in Job says: "But a stupid man will get understanding when a wild donkey's colt is born a man! To me, this means a stupid man will never get understanding. (Like my father said, “When hair grows on my palm, a donkey’s colt will be born a man, not a colt!) If you get it, email me so I'll know someone appreciates my weird sense of humor.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-47645584392730530402011-03-05T08:00:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:35:54.088-08:00Publicity That Counts<span style="font-size: large;">If you listened to last night's radio interview, thanks. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Lessons learned: </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Unless there is a real need, I won't interview after 9:00 PM. I'm a morning person. Had to take a nap and then try to stay up until "show time." Hard for me to do. I have always been a morning person and pulled only one all nighter in college! It was so gruesome and so unhelpful, that I said I'd never do it again, never!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Publicity for it's own sake is not what I'm after. If I have a need for others to know what I'm doing, like to buy my book or invite me to teach or speak, then I'm OK with it. Otherwise, publicity for it's own sake is not me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">- Blog radio is a new way for others to reach the public. Anyone can have a radio show. It's a new world. Soon, kids will come home from school and go onto their radio show and just talk for an hour! It's probably already happening. Some genius kid will turn that into a multi-million/billion dollar enterprise. Let me know if you know about this happening now. I may be a prophet.</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-82488470713381399232011-03-04T08:07:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:36:12.976-08:00Silence: Friend or Foe<span style="font-size: large;">Last night my husband and I watched the movie "<b>Into Great Silence</b>".</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Netflix describes it this way: "Director Philip Gröning's study of the Grande Chartreuse monastery introduces a world of austere beauty as it follows the daily activities of the resident monks, whose silence is broken only by prayer and song. With no sound save the natural rhythms of age-old routines, the documentary -- a Special Jury Prize winner at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival -- captures the simplicity and profundity of lives lived with absolute purpose and presence."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Almost 3 hours this movie had both of us fascinated. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I wondered and still wonder how long I would last, living a life unbroken by a sharing of ideas with others. The Carthusian monks in the film have written and published many books and perhaps that would suffice. I don't know.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My husband quipped that the lifestyle depicted was the ultimate <b>"Zip It!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I do know that I write, think and study better in silence. My husband likes music, smooth jazz, classical, pop, and easy listening. I like those also, but not when I am writing, thinking and studying. Hence, we have divided the house into zones. When I am writing, he respectfully, listens to his music in the bedroom/man cave/study or on the back porch.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How do you deal with silence? How much silence is enough for you? Please give me some feedback.<b></b></span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3530572583537059702.post-74458762920236548102011-03-03T11:32:00.000-08:002012-01-09T05:36:34.078-08:00Fix Our Education System - No Wimps Need Apply<span style="font-size: large;">Two days ago I responded to a request for a radio interview on various subjects. This is the first one that has materialized. If you suffer from insomnia, tune into www.blogtalkradio.com tomorrow night at 11 PM. If you do, I'd love to hear back from you with some feedback.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As I prepare, if you have any data or perspectives that will help me, please send it to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here is what I sent them. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Question 1: Based on the above, <b>Conservative Or Liberal Wanted To Debate Education Reformers</b>, what do you have to offer? Give me a brief pitch below. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Answer: Government (public) schools launch the brilliant kids, re-mediate students with challenges and leave the average to drift. Exceptional teachers are not the norm because of low pay and lack of other incentives. Schools need to teach critical thinking, reading, math and new technologies. Creative problem solving should be the bedrock of most courses so the students will discover why they need skills as they solve problems. The school day could be longer, vacations shorter and requirements clear. To reinvent the future our schools need to be real centers of learning. If the kids don't like to learn, the schools are doing something wrong! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Question 2: What is your experience with this topic? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Answer: With over 30 years experience as a college professor, communications consultant, 4 kids who went to public and private schools, I have seen misguided policies fail and fear and greed paralyze school systems. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Last Question: Anything else you`d like to add? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Answer: We need to have courage for a bold approach in education. No wimps need apply. We need to have parent reeducation so they buy in to the approach. Strip the administrations from the need to have power and to wield it, and you will</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">have an educational atmosphere where all will want to learn how to cope with new new challenges of a rapidly changing world. We also need to learn how to speak and how to listen. Check out my blog: www.jillkampmelton.blogspot.com</span>Jill Meltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11288542990866485054noreply@blogger.com0