Curiosity is the Key

If I were to conduct market research as to what one factor makes a good communicator, I would not get this answer. Most people say, "Good listening skills, the ability to speak clearly and being en expert on your subject.


For me if a communicator is not curious about what someone else is saying, the full measure of the words, meanings, feelings, and implications, the attempt to really be heard will fail.


Why aren't we more curious in this process? Is it because we are stressed, have no time, or just don't like someone else?


I think it is because no one does it to us. No one seems to care about what we say and we "are not the sparkle in someone else's eye."


That's where it helps to be spiritual and know deeper than deep that God cares and that you are the sparkle in His eye. Guaranteed!


If you have ever experienced feeling and knowing that, then it might be easier to be curious about someone else.


When we stop being curious, we are dead. We may be the walking dead, but we are dead.


I want to be alive, fully alive. Curiosity is the key.

Progress

Well, the lead I had on a publisher in the UK is not a lead anymore.


So here I go, on a search for a publisher, a literary agent, or both. I will overturn rocks and be persistent, even like a drip of water on a stone step. And while I'm searching, I'm sure the Lord will give me an opportunity that I have not imagined. Can't wait!


In the meantime, I have two books. Zip IT! morphed into Zip It!: A Guide to Effective Communication and Zip It! God's Way. The first is for managers and employees and the second is for parents and anyone who is a friend to anyone else:)


So I've covered the planet and I can't wait to get the word into others.


Please network this for me if you can. Forward your ideas and pray for opportunities.


The book will lead to workshops, motivational speeches, and lots of life coaching.

Biblical and Secular: "Zip It!" is Growing!

I have received feedback that there may be a quicker market for a Biblical version of Zip It! than the secular version. the operative word here is " may".


Not one to miss an opportunity, I have been working for 4 weeks on a rewrite of what I have already written to see if that " may" can turn into a definite "is."


How much fun! I sit like a real Geek with 4 versions of the Bible at my feet, several notebooks in which I have been recording thoughts for years, researching, compiling, sorting, selecting and retyping. I love it.


I am finally being able to use so much of what I have thought about and written about, for years and years.


If you care and if you dare, please pray for my process and for an open door. Thanks. Humbly I thank you.

Saying "You're Welcome"

Feedback from a reader:


I've been enjoying your blog. I'm working hard on remembering to say, "You're welcome."

Comment on Whining

From a reader, "Thanks for yout blog on whining...it was very timely. The whole family has been ill for nearly a week and there has been lots of whining. Me included! But your blog adjusted my perspective!


If you have not left me a comment, please do. These kinds of comments encourage us all.

Whining

Do you have friends, co-workers or employees who whine a lot?


Here are six perspectives to deal with the whining:


1. Whining can be positive. It dilutes the potential violence that could happen when people don't vent and then resort to passive aggressive silence. Whining, venting, and complaining are far better than exploding and violence. It's even better than weeping in the corner.


2. Whining can also be a barometer of morale in the workplace or at home. It gives you information about what people are feeling. If they are not getting enough positive attention, people may whine because they mistakenly feel that negative attention is better than no attention.


3. Some family and work cultures have a "habit of whining" built into them. The whiners don't think there is anything abnormal about their yak yak. They are just trying to fit in.


4. If any of this rings true for you, how about instigating a new habit, like "Mean Mondays". On Mondays anyone in your family, circle of friends or work unit can complain without penalty. Then it may be easier to institute "Positive Tuesdays." On Tuesdays the same people can only say what is good, uplifting, positive and encouraging. Customize the rest of the week as you need to.


5. Eventually, you can transition to asking this question on Mondays, "Is there something you want to talk about to change the way we: work, interact, relate to one another? What are those things? Let's talk about them.


6. Sometimes whiners will not give up their sport. They are too selfish, or jealous, or angry, or just symptoms of a serious flaw in the system of how you do business or relate. If that is true, you may need a third, neutral party, a facilitator who can help get to a deeper level and direct you to the solution.


Let me know how this works.

When "His" Words are the Best

Yesterday I had a chance to work on a commercial that was being shot in St. Augustine. I also had a chance to pray with several other actors on the set.


This is not because I am a great communicator. He is.


There are times when His words are the only words that come out of your mouth. That is such a thrill, to be used in that way.


I humbly say thank you to the Lord of my life who fills my mouth with His words for His purposes in His timing and in His way.


I humbly thanks Him for the response he receives from others when He works in this way.


As a mentor once told me, "Me, I am nothing. It is the Lord in me that is everything." Praise to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.


I'm sure in the heavenly language that we will learn one day, that there will be a word that is big enough for that concept, the bigness of God as God, man and spirit omnipresent and omniscient and onmi omni! Without that word I am powerless to convey the whole thing. Fortunately He doesn't need me to. He is!