Reckless Language

"We will always recognize an artist's freedom to express him or herself, but not when reckless things are said no matter what the context."


This is a quote from Tina Fey about a comic's use of bad language, hate language, on a recent show. The comic also used "violent imagery" which was disturbing to the TV station not to mention the viewers.


No one gets a free pass on the use of reckless language and violent imagery that could incite others to violent thoughts and actions. There should be a zero tolerance for this and I am glad it is being addressed.


Here's the puzzlement. If you know that a liberal said these things, the above quoted things, and you are a conservative, does that make them less true? No.


Language rules, civility rules, the way to behave knows no boundaries. In fact, agreement on these things could bring people together who think they have nothing in common.


We need to examine our own use of language. If the reckless and violent creeps in, how can we develop sensors to detect the "creep" and stop it before it takes hold?


First, when you have strong feelings about anything, pause before speaking. Pause a long time, maybe even a day.


Second, when you have strong feelings about something, examine your feelings. If you are angry, remember that anger is a secondary emotion. You feel angry because you may feel anxious, scared, vulnerable or threatened in some way. Work to identify those primary feeling first before speaking. Get help identifying those feelings, if necessary. A good place to start is: www.marianneclyde.com


Marianne has lots of help for identifying strong feelings. Click around the website, look into the archives, breathing all the while, and see if you don't feel the primary urges to be reckless and violent fade and more rational possibilities occur to you.


Third, when you think you are ready to speak, and if you MUST speak, speak carefully, slowly and sensitively, pausing, weighing your words and the thoughts beneath your words carefully.


"The power of life and death is in the tongue." Speak to heal and to help and to love.