Update

I haven't posted on this blog for awhile but I have been busy.


Here are the highlights:

• The book Zip It! is 98% finished.
• An editor is working on cleaning up what I've written and removing redundancies. She told me that she is learning so much that she is slowed down, thinking about how to apply what I have written.
• I'm looking for a publisher and/or literary agent.
• I have seeds for a few follow up books.
• I have envisioned book tours, workshops, retreats, an ebook, an audio book, hardcover and softcover versions.
• Several published authors have read what I have sent them and have been extremely encouraging.

Now is the time!


If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Why Should Anyone Change the Way They Speak and the Way They Listen?

Duh! This morning I had a profound revelation and jumped out of bed to share the "surge" with 4 blogs and hopefully you.


It's not about us. It's about the rest of the world.


What would change if I spoke and listened better? Would conflicts be resolved? Would people be more tolerant? Would people be able to love more and hate less?


I am sure that if I change the way I communicate, the ripple affect would be so much greater than I could ever intend. So here is the new re-tooled slogan:

"Transform speaking and listening one conversation at a time and ehlp others do it too."

It's not about me or you; it's about the effect of what we do and how it helps others.

Reckless Language

"We will always recognize an artist's freedom to express him or herself, but not when reckless things are said no matter what the context."


This is a quote from Tina Fey about a comic's use of bad language, hate language, on a recent show. The comic also used "violent imagery" which was disturbing to the TV station not to mention the viewers.


No one gets a free pass on the use of reckless language and violent imagery that could incite others to violent thoughts and actions. There should be a zero tolerance for this and I am glad it is being addressed.


Here's the puzzlement. If you know that a liberal said these things, the above quoted things, and you are a conservative, does that make them less true? No.


Language rules, civility rules, the way to behave knows no boundaries. In fact, agreement on these things could bring people together who think they have nothing in common.


We need to examine our own use of language. If the reckless and violent creeps in, how can we develop sensors to detect the "creep" and stop it before it takes hold?


First, when you have strong feelings about anything, pause before speaking. Pause a long time, maybe even a day.


Second, when you have strong feelings about something, examine your feelings. If you are angry, remember that anger is a secondary emotion. You feel angry because you may feel anxious, scared, vulnerable or threatened in some way. Work to identify those primary feeling first before speaking. Get help identifying those feelings, if necessary. A good place to start is: www.marianneclyde.com


Marianne has lots of help for identifying strong feelings. Click around the website, look into the archives, breathing all the while, and see if you don't feel the primary urges to be reckless and violent fade and more rational possibilities occur to you.


Third, when you think you are ready to speak, and if you MUST speak, speak carefully, slowly and sensitively, pausing, weighing your words and the thoughts beneath your words carefully.


"The power of life and death is in the tongue." Speak to heal and to help and to love.

Curiosity is the Key

If I were to conduct market research as to what one factor makes a good communicator, I would not get this answer. Most people say, "Good listening skills, the ability to speak clearly and being en expert on your subject.


For me if a communicator is not curious about what someone else is saying, the full measure of the words, meanings, feelings, and implications, the attempt to really be heard will fail.


Why aren't we more curious in this process? Is it because we are stressed, have no time, or just don't like someone else?


I think it is because no one does it to us. No one seems to care about what we say and we "are not the sparkle in someone else's eye."


That's where it helps to be spiritual and know deeper than deep that God cares and that you are the sparkle in His eye. Guaranteed!


If you have ever experienced feeling and knowing that, then it might be easier to be curious about someone else.


When we stop being curious, we are dead. We may be the walking dead, but we are dead.


I want to be alive, fully alive. Curiosity is the key.

Progress

Well, the lead I had on a publisher in the UK is not a lead anymore.


So here I go, on a search for a publisher, a literary agent, or both. I will overturn rocks and be persistent, even like a drip of water on a stone step. And while I'm searching, I'm sure the Lord will give me an opportunity that I have not imagined. Can't wait!


In the meantime, I have two books. Zip IT! morphed into Zip It!: A Guide to Effective Communication and Zip It! God's Way. The first is for managers and employees and the second is for parents and anyone who is a friend to anyone else:)


So I've covered the planet and I can't wait to get the word into others.


Please network this for me if you can. Forward your ideas and pray for opportunities.


The book will lead to workshops, motivational speeches, and lots of life coaching.

Biblical and Secular: "Zip It!" is Growing!

I have received feedback that there may be a quicker market for a Biblical version of Zip It! than the secular version. the operative word here is " may".


Not one to miss an opportunity, I have been working for 4 weeks on a rewrite of what I have already written to see if that " may" can turn into a definite "is."


How much fun! I sit like a real Geek with 4 versions of the Bible at my feet, several notebooks in which I have been recording thoughts for years, researching, compiling, sorting, selecting and retyping. I love it.


I am finally being able to use so much of what I have thought about and written about, for years and years.


If you care and if you dare, please pray for my process and for an open door. Thanks. Humbly I thank you.

Saying "You're Welcome"

Feedback from a reader:


I've been enjoying your blog. I'm working hard on remembering to say, "You're welcome."

Comment on Whining

From a reader, "Thanks for yout blog on whining...it was very timely. The whole family has been ill for nearly a week and there has been lots of whining. Me included! But your blog adjusted my perspective!


If you have not left me a comment, please do. These kinds of comments encourage us all.

Whining

Do you have friends, co-workers or employees who whine a lot?


Here are six perspectives to deal with the whining:


1. Whining can be positive. It dilutes the potential violence that could happen when people don't vent and then resort to passive aggressive silence. Whining, venting, and complaining are far better than exploding and violence. It's even better than weeping in the corner.


2. Whining can also be a barometer of morale in the workplace or at home. It gives you information about what people are feeling. If they are not getting enough positive attention, people may whine because they mistakenly feel that negative attention is better than no attention.


3. Some family and work cultures have a "habit of whining" built into them. The whiners don't think there is anything abnormal about their yak yak. They are just trying to fit in.


4. If any of this rings true for you, how about instigating a new habit, like "Mean Mondays". On Mondays anyone in your family, circle of friends or work unit can complain without penalty. Then it may be easier to institute "Positive Tuesdays." On Tuesdays the same people can only say what is good, uplifting, positive and encouraging. Customize the rest of the week as you need to.


5. Eventually, you can transition to asking this question on Mondays, "Is there something you want to talk about to change the way we: work, interact, relate to one another? What are those things? Let's talk about them.


6. Sometimes whiners will not give up their sport. They are too selfish, or jealous, or angry, or just symptoms of a serious flaw in the system of how you do business or relate. If that is true, you may need a third, neutral party, a facilitator who can help get to a deeper level and direct you to the solution.


Let me know how this works.

When "His" Words are the Best

Yesterday I had a chance to work on a commercial that was being shot in St. Augustine. I also had a chance to pray with several other actors on the set.


This is not because I am a great communicator. He is.


There are times when His words are the only words that come out of your mouth. That is such a thrill, to be used in that way.


I humbly say thank you to the Lord of my life who fills my mouth with His words for His purposes in His timing and in His way.


I humbly thanks Him for the response he receives from others when He works in this way.


As a mentor once told me, "Me, I am nothing. It is the Lord in me that is everything." Praise to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.


I'm sure in the heavenly language that we will learn one day, that there will be a word that is big enough for that concept, the bigness of God as God, man and spirit omnipresent and omniscient and onmi omni! Without that word I am powerless to convey the whole thing. Fortunately He doesn't need me to. He is!

"They" Ask for Feedback and Ignore it

Are you a manager who asks for feedback and then do nothing with it?
Are you a manager who asks for feedback, who tries to use it to change your organization, fails and who does not explain why your changes have not been implemented?
Do you give the perception of unresponsiveness when you are trying to use feedback to make changes?


Do you see yourself in these scenarios?

Zip It! will give you understanding as to why you are stuck. Zip It will help you get unstuck. Go to: www.orderzipitnow.com

What Happened to "You're Welcome?"

Have you noticed that when you say, "Thank you," to someone, they often say, "No problem" instead of "You're welcome?" When did that conversational change occur?


I have a problem with that for a few reasons. First, When you say "thank you", you are giving someone a gift. When they don't acknowledge the gift, you feel someone kicked in the teeth. When someone says, "No problem", are they refusing the gift? Or is there some other explanation?


Second, what are they really saying? Are they saying that helping you was not a problem for them and that they were glad to have helped? That is a nice sentiment and I would like to hear that gladness. Or are they saying, "It was no big deal. You are not special and I would have done this for anyone?" If that's the case, they are being rude and when we don't acknowledge rudeness in someone, we are not holding them accountable. They will be rude again, and they think we are okay with it.


Or third, are they saying, " I did nothing special and I don't want to be recognized for having done anything special and you make me feel awkward by recognizing what I did?"


What makes someone closed to the "thank you" process?


I don't know the answer to these questions and I hope one of my blog readers does. Please give me feedback on this.


Thank you, in advance.

Wisdom from Kenya

My friend, Dr. Nyaki Adeya-Weya, just posted this on her Facebook page,
"Our politicians should listen to the wise man who said 'why don't you put your brains to work and give your tongue a rest. Do not say anything before you are sure your word is worth more than your silence'".


The problem is universal the world over. People talk before they think; people act before they think.


MY Bible says, "Haste is never of God." I cling to that when I am tempted to speed up. I am almost always tempted to speed up. That is my perennial challenge: to wait for the best time, the best place, and the best way.


Of course, we could argue all day and night as to what the "BEST" is. For me, the best is that way that gives me peace and a deep sense that this is what I need to do. When my intuition and my sense of God wants is working, then I achieve it. When I'm out of sorts with myself and God, it is hard to achieve.


What do you think?

The Power of Wait:
1. It protects people who are trying to communicate from their own impetuosity, so wisdom can assert itself in its own time. “Haste is not of God.” (footnote proverb)
2. It gives time for other events and people and opportunities to rearrange themselves
3. It is calm.
4. It is powerful.
5. It helps remove the garbage, the clutter.
6. It winnows the unnecessary from the essential.
7. It helps you figure out what you want.
8. It helps you figure out what you feel.
9. It helps you figure out what other people want.
10. It helps you figure out what other people feel.
11. It is healthy – lowers blood pressure, and reduces stress.


Why do people have trouble waiting?


Some people can't zip it. They literally don't have the ability to. They might have ADD, be a compulsive talker, or believe the bumper sticker that says, “He who says the most words, wins.”. This person may know a lot and feel it criminal to withhold information. He/she might have a passion to share passionately. This person might have the strength of “Woo” ( footnote Strength Finders) and be gifted in talking, marketing, and sales. Talkers could talk all day and just stop for dinner and continue talking all night. A talker might be an extrovert, or woefully need attention, work as an auctioneer or find it's just plain too hard to shut up.


The power of other people exerts real pressure on us. If we think other people are waiting for us to say something, whether or not that is true, we will talk to fill the silence. Peer pressure is real. Imagined peer pressure is also real. Remove the “shoulds” from your life, about the way you think other people want you to interact and react in conversation and you may find a “real you” that you have never explored or rarely used. It certainly will prevent others from taking you for granted. They will have to stop and listen to you in new ways because they can't predict your words anymore. In management, that is extremely useful. It also forces others to think for themselves before they come to you to solve their problems.
Do you have the habit of worry? Some people do and that is a powerful force that keeps them talking and talking in an attempt to alleviate their anxieties. People who have the habit of worry are likely to hate this habit and so they do things to try to tamp it down. They may smoke, drink or indulge in other addictions in an attempt to self-medicate. It doesn't work. The root of why they worry will haunt them until they get to the bottom of it. This requires work, just like digging out the roots of an old tree. But unless you do get to the bottom of it, it will get in the way of mature thinking, behaving and speaking. Isn't that the goal of a manager who wants to excel, to be mature in thought, actions and speech?


Some people won't zip it; they lack the motivation to try. Egocentric, always right and incapable of delegating, they may be mean spirited, possessed, feel victimized, need to be good at something and talking is IT. Or it's just too hard to stop.


What is the benchmark as to how many words are enough? “Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor repeat often the same manner of discourse.” That's what George Washington said. (footnote) As Patricia Mathes, FAA manager, has said more than once, “If you give feedback well, you should only have to do it once.”


The 1970's musical, “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!” highlights the central problem. The treadmill of the lives most of us lead is running fast. We may want to get off, but we don't know how. Until we learn how to drop out of the rat race and reduce stress in our lives, we find that waiting is hard to do. When we fill the “wait” with activities that we think will get us where we want to go, we may miss the blessing of just waiting to see what will unfold.


If you close your eyes and imagine that you are in a boat going down a river, you can almost feel the current of the water taking it in one direction. Imagine that feeling. You don't have to do much except sit tight and wait. Now imagine that you get tired of waiting and you take up a paddle that was laying at your feet and start to paddle down the river. You are striving and your trip is now different. The first way you allow events to unfold. The second way, you make something happen.


In communications there is a time and place for both actions, the waiting and the striving to make something happen. Which do you do most often? If you use the paddle more than the “wait”, you will miss a lot.

Facts vs. Assumptions

My 6 year old grandson is learning about the peril of faulty assumptions in first grade. The question was, "What do you know from this statement: The red jacket was splashed."


At first he answered that the jacket was wet. That's an assumption, so that is not what he "knows". It could have been splashed with paint, air, papper spray, insect repellent, skunk stink, etc. Who knows? From the statement at face value, no one.


What you know is that the jacket is red. That's it.


A powerful lesson in communication for a 6 year old. And I teach it to men and women who are managers and are 25-70+ years old.


What assumptions do you make every day in your work and your life that are wrong? How would you know? What are the consequences of making incorrect assumptions?


If you have any anecdotes or feedback, bring them on.

Morning Coversations in Florida

It's 7:30 in the morning and the porch door is open to let the warm breezes in and the noises of the birds in with them. I hear beautiful staccato chirps repeatedly. My husband is watching this morning show: birds and squirrels around the bird feeder.


I am at my computer, reading the book of Mark in the Bible and pondering the miracles Jesus performed. He was bold and true and healed people that no one could heal before his ministry. And people hated him.


Morning devotions in stereo and surround sound at my house, inside and out.


Then it occurs to me that the loud chirps might not be the birds, but my husband's whistles as he talks to the birds in appreciation for the show they display in the morning for him. (The rare painted buntings are the best. The cardinals second best because they are a bit of Virginia for us here in Florida.)


He is proud of his part in the conversation on the porch and tells me he is talking to the birds.


I am filled with feelings I can't describe, sharing this morning with my husband, the birds, the breeze and with God.

Words, Words, Words

If you like Shakespeare's play Hamlet as much as I do, you will recognize this quote, "Words, words, words, signifying nothing!" Hamlet is disgusted that no one will be real with him and admit that his uncle killed his father and married his mother, greedy for power.


How do you stack up in the "words" department? Do you talk on and on and say nothing, obscuring the real meaning in order to stall for time or avoid dealing with serious issues?


The search for words that matter has been my search of a lifetime. Words heal and words hurt. Words can be "white noise" or the most important utterances in the universe.


How do your words stack up? Give me some feedback and you may make it into my book, with attribution, of course.

Research Phase

No, I have not died. I haven't blogged in a few days because my husband and I are in Shelby, NC getting training on healthy lifestyle eating from Hallelujah Acres. With no time for writing, I still have time early in the morning for some Bible study.


What I found is a mother lode of information, in, of all books, Job!


Job 11: 1 and 2 talks about people who use a "multitude of words and babble". I guess there is nothing new under the sun because we still have such people who yammer and yammer and they are not even auctioneers for a living. No one liked them in Job's day, and his book may be the oldest written book in the Bible. And no one likes people who yammer today, either.


Another verse, that follows the last one, got my attention because it reminds me of something my father used to say. If I were to ask him for permission to go somewhere he didn't want me to go, he would laughingly say, "When hair grows on my palm, you can go."


We used to say we were going to keep track of all the times he said that and then paste some hair on his palm when he was napping. We never did, but it would have been fun.


The verse in Job says: "But a stupid man will get understanding when a wild donkey's colt is born a man! To me, this means a stupid man will never get understanding. (Like my father said, “When hair grows on my palm, a donkey’s colt will be born a man, not a colt!) If you get it, email me so I'll know someone appreciates my weird sense of humor.

Publicity That Counts

If you listened to last night's radio interview, thanks.


Lessons learned:


- Unless there is a real need, I won't interview after 9:00 PM. I'm a morning person. Had to take a nap and then try to stay up until "show time." Hard for me to do. I have always been a morning person and pulled only one all nighter in college! It was so gruesome and so unhelpful, that I said I'd never do it again, never!


- Publicity for it's own sake is not what I'm after. If I have a need for others to know what I'm doing, like to buy my book or invite me to teach or speak, then I'm OK with it. Otherwise, publicity for it's own sake is not me.


- Blog radio is a new way for others to reach the public. Anyone can have a radio show. It's a new world. Soon, kids will come home from school and go onto their radio show and just talk for an hour! It's probably already happening. Some genius kid will turn that into a multi-million/billion dollar enterprise. Let me know if you know about this happening now. I may be a prophet.

Silence: Friend or Foe

Last night my husband and I watched the movie "Into Great Silence".


Netflix describes it this way: "Director Philip Gröning's study of the Grande Chartreuse monastery introduces a world of austere beauty as it follows the daily activities of the resident monks, whose silence is broken only by prayer and song. With no sound save the natural rhythms of age-old routines, the documentary -- a Special Jury Prize winner at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival -- captures the simplicity and profundity of lives lived with absolute purpose and presence."


Almost 3 hours this movie had both of us fascinated.


I wondered and still wonder how long I would last, living a life unbroken by a sharing of ideas with others. The Carthusian monks in the film have written and published many books and perhaps that would suffice. I don't know.


My husband quipped that the lifestyle depicted was the ultimate "Zip It!"


I do know that I write, think and study better in silence. My husband likes music, smooth jazz, classical, pop, and easy listening. I like those also, but not when I am writing, thinking and studying. Hence, we have divided the house into zones. When I am writing, he respectfully, listens to his music in the bedroom/man cave/study or on the back porch.


How do you deal with silence? How much silence is enough for you? Please give me some feedback.

Fix Our Education System - No Wimps Need Apply

Two days ago I responded to a request for a radio interview on various subjects. This is the first one that has materialized. If you suffer from insomnia, tune into www.blogtalkradio.com tomorrow night at 11 PM. If you do, I'd love to hear back from you with some feedback.


As I prepare, if you have any data or perspectives that will help me, please send it to me.


Here is what I sent them.


Question 1: Based on the above, Conservative Or Liberal Wanted To Debate Education Reformers, what do you have to offer? Give me a brief pitch below.


Answer: Government (public) schools launch the brilliant kids, re-mediate students with challenges and leave the average to drift. Exceptional teachers are not the norm because of low pay and lack of other incentives. Schools need to teach critical thinking, reading, math and new technologies. Creative problem solving should be the bedrock of most courses so the students will discover why they need skills as they solve problems. The school day could be longer, vacations shorter and requirements clear. To reinvent the future our schools need to be real centers of learning. If the kids don't like to learn, the schools are doing something wrong!


Question 2: What is your experience with this topic?


Answer: With over 30 years experience as a college professor, communications consultant, 4 kids who went to public and private schools, I have seen misguided policies fail and fear and greed paralyze school systems.


Last Question: Anything else you`d like to add?


Answer: We need to have courage for a bold approach in education. No wimps need apply. We need to have parent reeducation so they buy in to the approach. Strip the administrations from the need to have power and to wield it, and you will
have an educational atmosphere where all will want to learn how to cope with new new challenges of a rapidly changing world. We also need to learn how to speak and how to listen. Check out my blog: www.jillkampmelton.blogspot.com

Self-Assessment

Most people don't have a clue as to what they sound like. Why is this important? You may incur consequences you don't intend if you don't know how and why people react to you the way they do.


Here is a self-assessment that may help. If you want me to help you figure out the significance of your results, just contact me through this blog and I'll be glad to help.


Self-evaluation


A. Do people listen to me? When? Why? For how long?


B. How’s my voice: volume, variety, pitch, rate, resonance?


C. Does my body get in the way? Alignment” Image?


D. Do I have and use an open face? Eyes?


E. Is my breathing effective for the best voice use?


F. Do I have a hidden agenda? Does it show? Where do I put it?


G. Do I have fears that keep me from connecting with people?


H. What’s my energy level? Does it help or hurt me?


I. Am I comfortable with my persona? Do I have one?


J. What do I do with my problems when I am communicating?


K. How’s my focus and concentration when communicating?

Publicity

When I was trying to publicize someone else, I was relentless. I would call TV producers, newspaper and magazine writers almost daily until they gave in and gave my client some serious facetime.


It always seems harder when you are trying to publicize yourself because it's easy to take rejection personally. Don't.


My first line of attack was to give, not ask. I researched what my potential targets were writing about or giving air time to. Then I researched those topics and gave them leads, soundbites, research and angles they might not have thought of themselves. I did this relentlessly not because I was a media hound, but because I was being paid to do it.


I needed the income. Tuition bills for the kids' education loomed and I wanted to keep my job.


My client appreciated my efforts even if they didn't yield visible results until many weeks later. I kept trying to connect with the producers and writers until they saw me as someone who had something of value for them.


That's the ticket here. I will have to be my own press agent and pursue the market until it recognizes me as a resource and expert that will help them look good.


The key is to get names and phone numbers and there are media directories you can buy with this information. There is hard copy and online copy. Since the workforce changes so often, the online information is more likely to be up-to-date. If I intend to pay for any information, entrance to one of these directories would be worth it. First, I will contact people I know in marketing and publicity to find out the most cost effective way to go.


Anyone can get this information if you just start asking. Pick a company or non-profit that gets regular coverage and call them. Ask to talk to their Director of Communications and start asking questions. If you call in the late afternoon near the end of a week, you are more likely to find someone who will take the time to give you the information.


When I have more written, I will go this route.

Writing Discoveries

When do I write the best? In the morning. I'm sharpest with the most energy in the morning. I can write any time of day, as I am writing this at 6 PM, but my favorite time is also the morning because it's quiet and I feel like I get a "jump" on the day.
Strength Finders identified "achiever" as one of my top strengths, so if I have been productive, like written several pages in the morning, I feel like I've had a good day. And it's only morning! So I have the opportunity to have more successes before the day is over.

Since it's still February and I have an outline, a blurb, and 10 pages written, I figure I can have at least 150 pages by the end of March, writing about 5 pages a day. That will almost be the whole book.

If you are the kind of person who likes to pray and since you are reading this, you might care about me, please pray that I adhere to this schedule.

I have also discovered that it's best not to stop writing until I have at least one breakthrough per session. Today I had 2. That's BIG!

Connecting the Thoughts of a Lifetime

I have a friend who lived in a small house for more than 20 years before she moved to the size she had been decorating in her mind for years and years. All the bits and pieces that were crammed into a small space now looked perfect with space and elegant design guiding the placement of each item. It was as if she had known that she would double the square feet of her home and she wanted every element of decor to fit that scheme. Only she could see that invisible design for a long time. Now everyone can see it in the new home.

That's how I see Zip It! I have been thinking about communication for a lifetime and now I am gathering the threads of those thoughts and they all seem to work together.

Take the writings of John Powell S.J., communication guru of the 1960's,70's, and 80's. I used to use his books when I taught acting, especially the "Emotional Checklist" he details in The Secret of Staying in Love, Argus Communications 1974. I just wrote to see if I can have permission to reprint that list in my book.

Everything is fair game. One son gave me the title, one son gave me a new word which I will be using in the book, and a friend told me an anecdote just last night which is now in the book. Be careful when you speak with friends who are writers. All is fair in love, war and book writing.

What themes in your life do you see coming together as though you knew that you would be putting them together some time in the future? An interesting thing to think about.

Create Your Audience

After reading a blog entry by Rich Frishman, sent to me by a very dear friend, I realized that, unless you are famous, it is important to be your own press agent.

Many of you don't know that in 1997-98 I was a Press Secretary for someone in the DC political arena and I figured out how to do that job from zero because some serious tuition payments were pressing. (We were trying to educate the kids without debt and made it through college. Two had graduate school debt, alas.)

Way before it is necessary to have the audience, you have to build it, in my case, one reader at a time. As influential and interested people come across my mind, I reach out to them to see if they want to know what I am writing about.

I use a book by Lisa Haneberg in a class I teach for Middle Managers, High Impact Mddle Management. I have emailed here before because my efforts to download a template she recommended wasn't working. She responded quickly and the lesson I learned in 1997 was still valid. Don't let your perception of someone's importance prevent you from reaching out to them. Anyone is fair game.

She answered me then and she has answered me again, giving me a little encouragement. She even said she would look at the book when it's ready.

That's huge. She is a well-respected expert in the management and leadership training world with serious credentials. And she answered my email in less than a day!

So even though I am still in the infancy stages of Zip It!, I am "enlarging my territory" as Jabez wanted to do in Old Testament days.

If you have boxes of unsold books in your garage, or worse, your living room, start to daily and consistently enlarge your territory. Blog and relate what you have written to world events. Do this daily, like exercise and vitamins. Reach out to anyone who has ever had an interest in you and what you do, daily, like exercise and vitamins. Any place you have ever taught or lectured at is also fair game. Do that daily, like exercise and vitamins.

I think you get my drift.

A comedian once said that "Every day is the dawn of a new error." A pox on that kind of thinking. Every day is the dawn of a new opportunity.

How To Follow This blog

I inadvertently disabled the "Follow" option which is now on the upper right of the blog. If you click on the google logo, you should be able to register to follow the blog. Please let me know if you have trouble registering.

Thanks so much for your interest.

The Blurb

I just wrote the blurb and that's a good sign for me. It came easily. This book is in the front of my brain just waiting to be birthed.

If you have feedback on the blurb, please don't hold back.

The Blurb

Book Blurb

Zip It! is the secret to effective communications. Why don't we make an impact on others? We say too much. We don't “zip it”. Why don't other people feel heard? Because we don't zip it, we blather on and don't listen. Why do people misbehave? Because they don't feel heard, we don't speak the words they need to hear, and the speaking/listening process is broken.

Learn the power of the “zip”, and 19 other powers that will make you a better communicator. Learn the peril of the zip and landmines to avoid. Transform from a person who monologues and become a collaborative communicator.

Just because you said something doesn't mean it was heard. Practicing the techniques in Zip It! will ensure that you are heard and that others hear you, the words you say, the feelings you have, the full measure of you. Zip It! will also make you much better at assessing the full measure of others.

This Burning Land

Jennifer Griffin (Fox News) has alerted me to the publication of the book she co-authored with her husband, Greg Myre (NPR editor and former reporter for the Associated Press):

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/This-Burning-Land/Greg-Myre/e/9780470550908

It's available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and deals with matters of life and death they witnessed and wrote about in their stint in the Middle East.

Can't wait until my copy arrives.

To Do List #1

Listening to others gave me ideas for a "to do" list that I generated quickly:

1. Make a list of people who might write a blurb for the book, colleagues,
famous friends, infamous friends, people from many professions, males and
females.

2. Make a list of people who might have anecdotes to share for the content of
the book and get their permission to use their stories.

3. Make a list of students who have benefited from my teaching and get examples
from them of the uses and misuses of my techniques, also successes and
failures of communicating effectively on the job.

4. Contact anyone who ever said my work made a difference in their life.

5. Keep track of responses of what people think is working and what might need
to be done differently.

6. Contact every published writer I know and ask for advice.

7. Make a list of all publishers of the writers on "communication" that I admire.

8. Buy ISBN numbers from: https://www.myidentifiers.com/
I have done this and I took advantage of the "deal". I bought 10 numbers for less than the price of buying 2 individually. This is to cover an ebook, a text book, an audio book and many versions of the content.

The Magic Begins

First, if you haven't signed up to follow this blog, please do. That way you don't have to remember to find it when you are curious. It will remember you. Only 3 people have registered to follow this blog but I hope that more will follow and not just be one time lookers.

The last time I began a venture on the scale of this book writing season of my life was in 1983 when I began a professional theatre company in Alexandria, VA. Once I dedicated the process to God, doors began to open that I couldn't possibly have foreseen. I remember developing a business plan, the first I had ever done, and in the process of getting endorsements, I stumbled on the best friend of the developer who was considering giving us free space.

Who could plan that? With the best friend's endorsement and other business leaders in lockstep, the developer gave us free space for 9 years (under my tenure) worth more than $60,000 per year. There are scores of examples of these kinds of "coincidences" that were the invisible made visible to us. Money, supplies, talent, supporters, and the review that launched our success, "Better than Broadway", were unexpected, amazing and blessings.

So, after my initial posting yesterday, I am humbled that the process of "guided steps" is beginning again. I know that God guides and all I have to do is follow.
More than 95 people have read my blog today and more than 75 did so yesterday.
I have another blog to recommend which has incredible information and was given to me by published authors who I respect incredibly. And I have the phone number to schedule my first talk radio interview. That's in the first 24 hours.

Here are the details. Look at the blog by Rich Frishman. His personality is so large it just pops off the screen. He has conferences and I am hoping to attend his NYC one in the late spring. He "guarantees" that if you attend you will have one book published in a year. Sounds like he's in a fantasy land, but, if my friends who are VERY well-respected authors think there is something in his conference for them, I'm on board.

Rich has links to further information all through his blog and you can sign up easily for regular delivery. Quoting from his blog:
"100% money back guarantee http://www.author101university.com"
Subscribe at http://www.rickfrishman.com and receive Rick's "Million Dollar Rolodex"
I did that today and already the volume of useful information is overwhelming and necessary.

As for the radio interview, Armstrong Williams, radio talk show host and long time friend and colleague, has given me the phone number of his producer to call and schedule a pre-book publishing interview. YIPPEE!

Another friend and author from the UK has advised me to write the "blurb" about the book quickly. I plan to do that tomorrow so look for that posting. That will help me market the book, describe the book and target my efforts. Her book, Live Life Big, or Stay in Bed: Realizing and Releasing Potential in Women by Heather Puffett and Hazel Pattison, is very useful for women who need mentoring and for mentors who need to know how to mentor. (It's available on Amazon.)

Next post is the "to do list" that came out of yesterday's work.

Help is Pouring In

I woke up to lots of feedback and I hope I will receive some more.

Charlene Fu, publisher author, sent me many entries from blogger Rich Frishman.

Dear Charlene,

Happy Sunday.

On Friday I had to go to the Social Security office to get some things done.
I met with a lady who probably had been working at that office for at least
150 years. When I walked in I told her that this should not take long and she
said "Well I will be the judge of that!" I could not figure out why she was combative
right off the bat. But then realized that most people were probably rude to her.

I am reading a great book- "365 Thank Yous" by John Kralik. Great book! So I figured
let me take a shot. In the middle of our "interview" when she kept telling me how
everything was "impossible" (and basically to go screw myself) I decided to keep smiling
and I thanked her for helping me. ........Nothing..... not a word.... not a smile.....
Then I don't know what happened. She sort of just transformed. 15 minutes later she said
"Ok- I figured it out- and you are all set." And she smiled.

I thanked her again and now she became even more helpful. At the end - I shook her hand
and got her name. She was amazed. Seemed like no one ever went to shake her hand.
Interesting lesson here... A Thank you....can go a long long way.

--------
Author101university March 3-6 in LA
http://www.author101university.com

We are less than 2 weeks away. We only have room for about
200 people and we are getting close to being sold out. Last
year we "closed the doors" a week before the event started.
Meet agents, editors and learn how to promote
your business. This will change your life.
I promise! (more below)

-------------
Quote of Day:
"Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom"
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

================================================
TIP #1 Another great Pitch Formula for you
================================================
As I promised in my last tip, here's another great
fill-in-the-blank formula you can use to create a show pitch
that is guaranteed to grab a producer's attention virtually every
time ... (Please forward this e-mail to anyone it might help)


* Pitch Formula: "___ clues that your _______ is ____________ "

And here's a couple of examples of how you might apply it:

Show Pitch: "5 clues that your spouse is cheating on you"

Show Pitch: "5 clues that your company is getting ready to
start downsizing"


Everyone loves a good mystery. Everyone loves to crack the code or
spot something before everyone else does. This formula appeals to
that desire and is pretty much universally applicable to any
situation.


To get Alex Caroll's entire database of the Biggest 1,364 radio shows
in America (all have at least 100,000 listeners), complete
with show descriptions and number of listeners for each show,
visit my website: http://www.publicityvault.com. His is the
only database available of just the big shows ... all others
are loaded with little podunk shows.

=======================================================
TIP # 2 AUTHOR101UNIVERSITY IS MARCH 3 to 6 IN LA
=======================================================

If you have a book- or a book proposal- you have to come in
March. We will have 2 panels of agents and publishers and
2 meet and greet sessions. You can pitch your book directly
to an agent. They will be there looking for you.

Check out video by Tom Antion about the event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofSjcq1aaDQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

We have 25 teachers, agents, and publishers to teach you..
Meet:

Stefanie Hartman- Platform Builder
Gary Goldstein the producer of "Pretty Woman" just agreed to teach.
David Riklan- will teach you how to make money with social media.
Bill Gladstone- super literary agent
Tom Antion- Internet Guru- Make money as you sleep
Scott Hoffman- New York Literary Agent
Loral Langemeier- New York Times Best Seller and money expert
Steve Harrison- Publicity expert- host of The Publicity Summit
Many other agents and editors you can PITCH face to face.

We are less than two weeks away...
100% money back guarantee

http://www.author101university.com

=========================================
TIP # 3 Video on #1 secret for getting major publicity
==========================================
Check out this video from my friend Steve Harrison
on the #1 secret for getting major national publicity at:

http://www.thebigsecrettogettingpublicity.com/?10065
There's nothing like getting some major publicity

to make sales soar for whatever you're promoting.

In the publishing world, an appearance on a top
national TV show like Oprah, Today, Good Morning
America, The View or article in major publication
like Time, Newsweek, People or the New York Times,
can propel a book to the bestseller list almost
overnight.
But scoring publicity hits in major media outlets
like those isn't easy.

There is however one big secret, which if you know
and use it, dramatically increases your chances of
getting coverage in the biggest magazines,
newspapers and radio/TV shows across the country.
No, the secret isn't about writing the world's
greatest press release or press kit.
No, the secret also isn't about having a great
publicity idea or hook (though that's important too).
Nor is the secret about hiring a high-priced
PR firm (though every top publicist knows and
practices the secret).

In fact, the chances are good nobody has ever told
you about the secret -- but once you understand and
put it to work, you'll find it much easier to get
big-time media coverage.
To discover the secret, go here now and see the video:

http://www.thebigsecrettogettingpublicity.com/?10065


===============================================
Tip # 4 The Best Time of Year to Query Agents
===============================================

The Best Time of Year to Query Agents
by: Jeff Rivera, founder of HowtoWriteaQueryLetter.com


As any book publishing professional will tell you, now is the time when the industry goes on hiatus. But guess what? This is one of the best times of the year to pitch agents. Why? Because agents may slow down during the hiatus period but they cannot help but sneak a peak at their email.

I know because I deal with literally hundreds of literary agencies every year.

They're constantly searching for the next hot thing to represent. And if it's sent to them now, they will have enough time to spit polish it before the industry starts back up again in January.

What's so special about January? Editors come back from the holidays with a fresh new perspective. They're also loaded up with their expense accounts all over again so they'll be ready to rock n' roll when they use those accounts to lunch with your new agent.

Expense accounts are often on a "use it or lose it" basis. If the editor didn't use all their "lunch money" last year they'll receive an even less amount this year. It's also around the time when editors and editorial directors have set or about to set their editorial schedules. So, what better time to submit to agents!

If you have something solid and ready, get your query letter together. And it better be good because you only have one shot with these agents. What are agents looking for right now more than ever?

1) Middle grade - If you've written the next Diary of a Wimpy Kid, especially a funny book for boys now's the time to pitch it.

2) Young Adult fiction - Hot, Hot, Hot! If you have a YA book, nothing's hotter in the industry. It's the one genre that has not dipped in sales tremendously. In fact, agencies are adding more agents to their rosters, specifically looking for this genre. More agents means more opportunities for you.

3) Graphic novels - If you're an author who has had a difficult time selling your novel, think about adapting it as a graphic novel. The great thing is, you don't have to be able to draw. Simply align yourself with a great artist. Create a 5-page sample of your work, a detailed summary and presto! That's all you need. 100% of the clients we've done this for have gotten agents.

4) Celebrity Memoirs - If you've got connections to celebrities, even D-List Reality TV star celebrities, this is a sure bet. Submit a solid book proposal "co-written" or ghost written by you and your hot celebrity and two things will happen: 1) The sun will rise tomorrow 2) An agent will request to read your proposal.

5) High Platform Nonfiction - If you have a huge opt-in mailing list, are the president of a large charity or organization, own your own PR firm, or have strong media connections, now's the time to write a book. Remember, if it's a nonfiction book, you only need write a book proposal, not the entire manuscript. With a strong platform, you'll have agents chasing after you instead of the other way around. 100% of the clients we created book proposals for have landed agents and damn good ones within a week or two.

Remember, you only have one shot with these agents. So, make sure your query letter is as solid as possible. If you need help writing a winning query letter, contact: [YOUR EMAIL] and we'll help you. 100% of the query letters we've ghost written have received at least 10 top agents that have requested to read their manuscripts or proposals.


===================================
TIP # 5 TRAIN WITH JACK CANFIELD
===================================
My good friend and mentor Jack Canfield is holding his second annual Train the Trainer program starting this February.

Jack is by far one of the most talented teachers I've ever met when it comes to training, speaking and presentation style.As you know I have been working with Jack since 1993. I believe in Jack and I believe that he can change your life!

If you have ever considered speaking as a profession, and I know a lot of you have,
I highly recommend that you put Jack's training on your resume.

In this training, Jack doesn't just teach you how to deliver his principles of success,
he teaches you how to show up authentically in the room and be genuine, present, and as real as can be.
He covers an extensive amount of material - from how to set up a room, to presentation skills, to group exercises, and more.

His promise is that by the end of the entire yearlong training, each and every student will have the ability to present 3 whole days on information to any size group or organization.

****SPECIAL NOTE: My readers get a $4000. DISCOUNT***** Check the link below

http://www.jackcanfield.com/cmd.php?Clk=4048955

==================================================
TIP # 6 Get a Free Copy of "The Millionaire Messenger"
==================================================
Brendon Burchard, founder of Experts Academy, is giving away copies of his new book "The Millionaire Messenger."

https://burchardgroup.infusionsoft.com/go/mm/frishmr

The book doesn't come out until March, but Brendon is giving away review copies to amp up the market.
He only has 1000 to give, so go grab your copy today. I am!

You probably know Brendon from his multi-million dollar launches, or his $5,000 seminars like Experts Academy.
But he started out as a simple guy with a great message. He turned his advice and life experience into a brand that changes millions of people's lives.
"The Millionaire Messenger" is about how we can all make a difference and a fortune with our advice, expertise and how-to information.

Learn more and hear Brendon talk about the book here:
https://burchardgroup.infusionsoft.com/go/mm/frishmr

Oh, and be sure to get your complimentary copy today before they're all gone.

=======================
PERMISSION TO REPRINT:
=======================
You may reprint any items from "Rick's Sunday Tips" in your own print or electronic newsletter.
But please include the following paragraph:

Reprinted from "Rick Frishman's Sunday Tips"
Subscribe at http://www.rickfrishman.com and receive Rick's "Million Dollar Rolodex"

If you like my newsletter, please pass it on to your friends, clients and colleagues.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: I'm a compensated affiliate for some of the programs I tell you about.
I only tell you about people and programs I have checked out and believe in.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know if I can help you in any way.
I can't wait to see you in March!


To Your Success

Rick

Rick Frishman
Founder, Planned Television Arts
Publisher, Morgan James Publishing

5 Penn Plaza, 23rd Floor
New York, NY 10001
(212) 655-5470 Office
516-908-4496 Fax

http://www.rickfrishman.com
http://www.morganjamespublishing.com

Getting Published

I am writing a book. So what else is new? It seems as if everyone in the world is writing a book. Since I actually want people to read it when it's finished, I'm serious and plan to put some effort into this.

I have written several books already. Two can be downloaded for free from my website: www.strategiesforlivingunlimited.com If you click on "Resources", you will see them to click on and download: Strategies for Fashion in the Workplace and Wisdom Not for Wimps. I also have a self-published book, The Queen of Bargains Little Instruction Book which sold 1500 copies and so I made a profit. I have some left, maybe 30, in case someone needs to add it to their library:)

The Actor's Working Process, which I wrote for actors and directors, is not only not published, but sits in my closet waiting to be scanned onto a computer, as it was born before the electronic age began. One more, a book of devotions, is unpublished.

I began this book, Zip It! a month ago.

I'm also researching the pros and cons of self-publishing, ebooks, traditional books (paper), finding a publisher, marketing and other related topics and I thought sharing my findings may help others as it helps me sort through the overwhelming amount of information.

I started with a friend and publisher, Chug Roberts, President and Publisher of TheCapitol.net - non-partisan training and publications that show how Washington works.(TM). My invitation to him was irresistible, "You talk and I will listen."
Within minutes he responded via email and said a call was OK within the hour.

I waited a polite 2 minutes and then called and met his expectations. I actually listened and wrote as fast as my fingers would go.

A very important resource is author Aaron Shepard, a self-published childrens' writer who has written 3 books that tell the whole story: Aiming at Amazon:The NEW Business of Self Publishing, or How to Publish Your Books with Print on Demand and Online Book Marketing, POD for Profit: More on the NEW Business of Self Publishing, or How to Publish Your Books With Print on Demand by Lightning Source, and Perfect Pages: Self Publishing with Microsoft Word, or How to Design Your Own Books for Print on Demand.

A traditional publisher arranges for layout, cover design, images, graphics and pictures, and some marketing and when you self-publish, you pay for all this out of pocket. Of course, the money with traditional publishing is not great, unless you are famous, which I am not. The risks are greater with self-publishing and yet the rewards are also potentially greater. Risk/reward analysis is always necessary, not fun and a real eye opener.

Overly simplified here, after you figure that out, and write the book, it is important to get someone to really review your book. Chug stressed that friends, family and even professional colleagues may run from the truth and getting a "do different" from someone may be harder than finding gold in your backyard, unless you live in Alaska! There is the group of top 100 reviewers on Amazon and Jim Cox in the Midwest Book review (out of Oregon) who might do it. I can only ask.

Then there are blurbs. Who would write one for me? My acting teacher, Olympia Dukakis? The FAA facility director in Palm Coast, former clients (an engineer, a PR executive, a Fox News correspondent, an actor, a financial analyst, a high tech project manager)? I need to compile a good list.

Who cares about what I have to write? I don't know. I need to enlarge my following on Facebook, my website and a blog. In fact, I'd better start blogging every day. That way I can see if anyone cares by tracking views to the pages.

I starting sending a targeted message to Facebook friends and I will analyze the responses. The message has the subject "Need information". The message is: I'm writing a book on communication. Who do you think needs help communicating more: parents, children, husbands, wives, best friends, managers, employees, or teachers? Please leave your comments here and pass this along to your friends. I need to boost my following. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, but I need more."

If you have an opinion, please respond. It will help me more than you can imagine.

Is this to be a general self-help book or a book to be used in training people to maximize their leadership skills?

I'll be blogging regularly to test the market and see what the interest is.

I also need to network with like minded writers and publishers. Chug recommended the IBPA, The Independent Book Publishers Association. They have an annual publishing university event which has been a great resource for him.

Following other bloggers and reaching out to a few will be useful: Glen Reynolds, Tyler Cohen, and others I know, like Julia Duin (former Washington Times Religion reporter and current Washington Post Religion blogger), Jennifer Griffin (national security correspondent for Fox News) and Jamie Martin (Steady Days).

Google is another marketing outlet to consider as they sell ebooks as a PDF file which can be downloaded.

If you decide to read along for the ride, I thrive on feedback. Let it be, "Keep on doing what you are doing or do this or that differently." I don't care as long as there is feedback. Please give me at least one "works well" and one "do different" and it will fuel me like a vitamin that turbo charges me.